Monday, February 01, 2010

I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar.


Ladies and bents, Ross Douthat.

22 comments:

Frederick said...

Bwahahahah!

drip said...

Bloggers pounced. When you grow up, your heart dies.

Daniel said...

You got a puppy!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does the goatee, particularly on the befatted, make the mouth look more like a vagina?

boobies have cooties said...

One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend’s parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point–”Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?” she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn’t sure what to say, but then I wasn’t sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–”You know, I’m on the pill…”

It was the chick's fault -- she made him sick by showing him her breasts.

Anonymous said...

why does ioz delight in picking on fat fucks with van dyke beards?

Anonymous said...

@2:03 - bc its hilarious, sporto?

bravo sir.

i am unaware of it, but is there a theory of the universal applicability of breakfast club?

Anonymous said...

Shut the fuck up Ross.

Anonymous said...

anon at 1.27,

My friends and I always refer to goatees like the one Douthat sports as a "cock dartboard" the mouth being the bullseye.

Anonymous said...

Douthat's ascent is all the more ridiculous given that not only is Daniel Larison about the same age, a vastly better writer and a quintillion squared times smarter, he's an actual theocrat rather than someone who toys with being one as a way to distinguish himself from his peers and would thus not only be writing a vastly better column but one that more reliably brings the social policy crazy. I have no idea what Larison thinks about sex ed, but I have to think it involves chastity belts and I think everyone would rather read that this kind of mealy mouthed faggotry.

AlanSmithee said...

All very well and good, IOZ. But why do you have pictures of Victor Buono all over the place?

TGGP said...

Anonymous, I completely agree on Larison. You've also explained precisely why Douthat is published where Larison isn't.

Over at Lawrence Auster's they've been debating chastity. Most comments have been supportive of the initial reader's religious abstinence from premarital sex, but one comment Auster let through actually derided it, considering our society too degraded to bother. I could attribute my own case to a religious formative period, but I'd say it's actually overdetermined.

There was also a misreading of a study a while back in which some people claimed that teens who took abstinence pledges were no less likely to have sex than others. The study actually said that was only the case controlling for religiosity. But given teens of such religiosity, the effect of pledging seems to be nil.

Anonymous said...

In addition, there was a study demonstrating that some, like Ross Douthat, who have abstinence forced upon them.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Wait...that wasn't from the Onion?
~

Anonymous said...

In that picture up against the tree, he looks like Sloth from the Goonies. Does Ross like Mars bars?

Chris E. said...

"[Douthat's] room is adorned with posters of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe - stars from Hollywood’s glamour heyday - as well as a towering tribute to Gladiator. 'I think that Russell Crowe’s evocation of manhood is something all men should aspire to”, he explains, “particularly when there are such obvious parallels between Rome and the United States, with the combination of splendor and decadence of Empire.'"

--profile of Ross Douthat, Harvard Crimson, 2001 (via Wonkette)

IOZ said...

Mort de fucking rire, Chris E.

drip said...

I hope the Hepburn is the poster from Breakfast at Tiffany's. If the quote was really from The Crimson and not the , I will never mock Douhat again.

drip said...

Achhh! If the quote was really from The Crimson and not The Lampoon, I will never mock Douhat again.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to thank Chris E. for putting the image of Douthat singing "What what, in the butt" in my head.

OWEN MEANY said...

It had taken some time to reach this point–” My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas... HE EJACULATES IN HIS PANTS... but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered–”You know, I’m on the pill…”

a chunkier reese witherspoon said...

But Douchethat and Matt Taibbi clearly cruise the same alleys, proving that ideological enemies can be friends after the sun goes down.